A Better Version of Myself: 2016 New Year’s Resolutions


Remember when I asked if you all felt like 2015 has been a shit year and then vaguely referenced I might have felt so on a personal level as well?  This is that post.  I do sort of feel that I was not…my “best self” in 2015.  Not in a terrible way–no major catastrophes–but I feel as if I’m treading water, not always putting my best foot forward.  Don’t worry, I expect this entire missive to be rife with the worst kind of cliches.  Posting last year’s resolutions on the 6th probably wasn’t a good start, and I only completed, like, TWO of them.  (I did run 5 miles, 5.41 to be exact, and I did wish all of my Facebook friends many happy returns.  The home improvement projects remain unfinished, I am no less of a nutter about the usual state of my household, and the blogging once a week thing…well, you know how that went.)

Proof.  Do NOT judge my split times.  I am the tortoise, and we all know the tortoise win in the end.

Proof. Do NOT judge my split times. I am the tortoise, and we all know the tortoise wins in the end.

Feeling pretty “bleh” about 2015, I decided that I’m going to make 2016 a different kind of year–me, personally.  (For one, I’m not going to make any of my resolutions dependent on Jon helping to finish house-projects because that way lies madness, my friends.)  And I’m taking a slightly different tack on goals and whatnot:  Instead of setting 5-6 overarching, often quite subjective, resolutions, I’m going to have a different resolution every month.  Little goals, completely verifiable, in the hopes that being able to say “Yes, I did that thing I said I was going to do,” will help me feel more like I’m moving in a generally forward direction and less like I’m just sort of waiting for life to happen around me.  Some will, obviously, be easier and more enjoyable than others.  Some are about bettering myself, some are about moving me outside myself, and some are about taking care of myself and allowing some real, honest-to-goodness “me time.”  (See, I told you…cliches out the wahzoo.  Seventeen-year-old me just passed out, she was rolling her eyes so hard.)  And so:

2016 New Year’s Resolutions

January:  Or as I’m calling it “The Month of Denial.”  No booze, no fried foods, no obvious amounts of sugar.  Five 3 mile runs a week, and a little bit of strength training every day.  From January 2* to January 31, I’m not going to drink, I’m only going to eat foods that are generally good for me, and I’m going to exercise a lot.  It’s going to suck balls, but I think I’ll be better for it, and hopefully, some better habits will be formed.

February: I’m taking a day off, I’m going to the Nelson-Atkins museum, I’m getting the audio-tour thingy, and I’m going to enjoy the hell out of myself, BY MYSELF.  Maybe I’ll have lunch and a glass of wine in the Rozzelle Courtyard because I can.  And because it will no longer be January.


March: I’m going to learn to bake a pie.  Yes, I can make a flawless roux–no I have not in any shape or form mastered pastry.  I’m thinking peach, although that’s not terribly seasonal in March…

April:  Yoga!  I used to do yoga twice a week, but I sort of got out of the habit (mostly because my kids would. not. leave. me. alone), and I miss it.  I had better arms when I was doing yoga, and I always felt relaxed afterwards, so…  More time on the mat…probably with the cat.  Because they’re pains in the ass, and they really like rhyming.

May:  I will go to a movie by myself, thus ensuring that I actually see a movie I want to see in the theater, AND somewhat conquering my fear of looking alone and friendless in public.**

June:  Let’s do some traveling!  Okay, full disclosure, this is a bit of a cheat because Jon and I are already planning a trip to London in June (to see the new Harry Potter play–no really, this is why we’re going.  I mean, we’re going to do a lot of other things, too, but that’s the whole reason we’re going to London and not, say, Germany); however, I still maintain that it’s a good resolution.  Plus, we already have tickets to the play AND vouchers for tea at the Ritz, so we really have to now.


July:  I’m going to read for one hour every day.  “But you read all the time!” you say.  Not for an hour a day, I say, and besides half of the books I “read” are actually audio-books.  Plus, it’s July, and it’s going to be too damn hot for anything else.

August:  It’s massage time.  Clearly this is one of the “me-time” things, but I love getting massages, and I almost never do it.

September:  To make up for being so selfish, what with all the reading and traveling and having a stranger touch me for an hour, I’m going to volunteer actual time somewhere.  Jon and I are pretty good about giving money to various causes that are important to us, but our involvement rarely goes further.  And it probably should.  (Go further, in case that wasn’t clear.)

October:  This month I shall try a new cuisine.  I’ve eaten a lot, but there’s always room for more food.  (Except in January.  Damn you, January!)


November:  I’m going to spend at least one hour writing every day.  Wait, don’t worry!  Not on here.  I would never do that to you.  I’m going to write some of something else.  That I may or may not tell you about at some future time.  We’ll see how it turns out.

December:  For my final act of 2016***, I will write some politician that represents me in some way about an issue that’s important to me.  I mean, I live in Kansas, so it’s not like I won’t have any to choose from…

All right, there it is.  My road map for a better Alaina in 2016.   Happy New Year, dears!  I’m wishing all of you only the best.


*Because even I cannot finish a glass of champagne in 60 seconds, so I assume I will in fact be drinking on January 1.  Plus, I sort of see a Town Topic stop in my near future.  Probably.

**Seriously, it’s a big thing with me.  Like, if we’re meeting somewhere DO NOT BE LATE, or you can pretty much assume I’m having a minor panic attack until you arrive, and the giant “L” for luhoooozaher is taken off my forehead.

***I briefly considered making “do a pull-up [or chin-up, depending on what you called them in grade school gym class]” my resolution for this month.  And then I laughed at myself, and said “Self, don’t set yourself goals you can’t achieve.  You’ve never done a pull-up in your life.  Why start now?”